It looks like I might have to work overtime on this blog, seeing as how I forgot to post at least something for a December post. From the bottom of my proverbial heart, I'm sorta sorry.
What is it about a new year that gets to me so? I'll tell you. It's because it's like this: You have a slate. Said slate gets covered in oil, grease, muck, shit, piss, possibly a dash of vinegar, woodchips, cornchips, aardvark dropping, blood, ash, and the occasional spittle of vomitous disgustingus. And then the new year begins and that slate of yours is cleaned off nice and tidy. It's new. It's fresh. Ahhhhhh, so fresh.
And then before you know it, something happens and you find some oil stains on your nice, clean, and fresh slate. Not so bad. Easily dealt with. Shit happens. Ah, but not yet! Because then, from out of left fucking field, spatters of grease and muck appear and you stand there going, "Motherfucker, this ain't right!". But you take a breath. A deep one. Still not terrible but the doubts, oh they are growing aren't they? Indeed. Still, though. Could be worse. And so you carry on with your slate which is not so clean anymore but still very usable and filled with pride and hope and good, good things. As you are just about to exhale in relief, HOLY FUCK! BOOM!
The onset of shit happening happens. Mixed with unbiased droplets of piss. You're becoming pretty distraught but wait, there's more! Because as you dive headlong past these obstacles that you are sure to be free of in mere moments, you find yourself WHAM! The smell of vinegar assaults you and you look at your slate with sad eyes. Balls, you might say. And consequently, through brief moments of relief and "Whew, glad that's over!", once again, you find that the once-clean slate has been peppered with woodchips, cornchips, aardvark droppings(wtf were you doing to warrant aardvark droppings?), blood, ash, and the occasional spittle of the inevitable vomitous disgustingus.
At this point, it doesn't matter what's on that slate of yours. Why? Because New Year's Eve is just days away and it's time for a new slate!
Rinse. Repeat. Until you're dead.
I know what you may be thinking: That's fucking godawful and depressing! AND IT IS. The saving grace throughout all of it is actually somewhat liberating if you choose to think of it in the manner I'm about to present......
Life is ups and downs. Twists and turns and any other horrible cliche' to signify life's turbulent courses. And all that stuff that is fucking up your clean slate? That's your life. That's your experiences. Because nothing in this world is pristine because if it were?
What a boring fucking time we'd all have, yes?
So, chin up, folks. Learn from the dirt that comes across our paths, it really is the spice of life.
